The Transformers franchise has always been divisive, to put it mildly. In 2007, Michael Bay’s first run at Transformers made over $700,000,000 worldwide with a critical score of 57% on Rotten Tomatoes. Since then, Bay has directed four sequels that produced an average Rotten Tomatoes critical score of just under 22% as well as a fairly steep decline of $500,000 between the fourth and fifth installments. Bumblebee, however, shines above all at a 93%.[1]Numbers don’t normally lie, and numbers like that all point to hope for the future of the Transformers franchise. And yet, when I left the theater after seeing Bumblebee,all I could think about was how bland and cheesy it was. There are no standout moments or performances, nor are there any risks taken, making what could’ve been a sharp revitalizing of the franchise turn into another corroded afterthought of a movie. There is really nothing special besides the fact that Michael Bay is gone, as well as his hideous designs and blatant sexism/racism. Bumblebee offers a coherent (if not oversimplified) story, fun action scenes, a barely beating heart, and strong visuals but fails to deliver on almost anything else.
The new designs of Bumblebee, Optimus Prime, and all the other Transformers are great. Unlike the franchise’s previous fiveinstallments, viewers can finally tell the giant robots apart from one another, even when they’re crashing into each other at night. Any scene on Cybertron looks incredibly cartoonish – an actually refreshing experience after six boring movies about giant metal men fighting in places seen in countless action movies before them. But the human characters adjacent to the Transformers are almost all 100% stale, aside from Hailee Steinfeld’s adorable and innocent Charlie, who creates a strong bond not only with Bumblebee but with the audience as well. John Cena’s military man, however, didn’t connect as well with anyone and seemed like an odd choice from his first moments. It’s clear here that Cena should stick to comedies, because when the writers let him be funny, he is funny. But any time we’re supposed to take his character seriously, it’s hard not to laugh at each of his hand-fed lines delivered like he’s trying to parody his own cliché character. Similarly, Charlie’s family provides the movie with more unbearable clichés, as does her side-plot about being brave enough to high dive to save the world despite her dead father. Yeah, it doesn’t make sense with context either.
Bumblebee is not ambitious. Besides redesigning its characters and desexualizing its main female protagonist, it’s not reinventing the wheel or even reimagining the genre. Most of the plot itself is as silly and easy to digest as any kid’s cartoon. Bumblebee has to avoid the scary army guys and the blatantly evil doppelgangers and stop them from bringing an army to Earth. Basically, it’s Venom, but instead of an alien symbiote and a weird Tom Hardy, it’s a robot-who-acts-like-a-dog and a kind-hearted, thank-god-Michael-Bay-was-not-involved teenage girl. This movie is better than Venom, but not by much. Everything in the plot makes sense and is very agreeable because it has all been done before. And because of that, it’s easy for 9/10 people to say, “Yeah, this movie isn’t bad. One thumbs up.” And that’s the only reason it has a 93% on Rotten Tomatoes. If I was a kid or if I had a kid, I’d be grateful this movie exists. It’s charming, it’s cute, it’s innocent fun. However, as of right now, I think I’ll wait until I do have kids before seeing the next one.